Opportunities

I have recently accepted a job that takes me back to the Games Industry. I had, up until a year and half ago, worked 10 years in the video/computer games industry. It has not always been kind. It's a terrible quality of life industry with long hours, high stress, and generally unhealthy both mentally and physically. Basically it is not all fun and games as one would think.

I still question myself on this decision every day since I accepted. I try to flip flop it and live in the now. This is now. This is not your old job this is new. I try to not let all my old experiences project themselves on this new one but it is hard.

I try to find a state of calm by giving it over to God (Universe, higher power, whatever you like)

I like to think this is an opportunity given to me by God. I have in the past asked for things like I want a secure job, that pays me well, and will bring me success. I have also tried to control things by saying I also want to do my own thing and create my own business and be self made.

I think God has given me opportunities for all these things. I am not sure if I capitalized on all of them. But looking back it seemed the opportunities were there.

Thats what God gives when asked, opportunities. This revelation came to me from a favorite movie of my wife and daughter, Evan Almighty. Good movie. Good message. The question posed in the movie was if you pray for happiness does God make you happy? OR does God give you the opportunity to find happiness?

So as I have now realized that God (Universe, Higher Power) has given me opportunities for all I have asked for but yet I still feel miserable, maybe I should change what I am asking for.

Lately I have stopped trying to will my new iphone app company to new successes. I have stopped trying to pursue this idea that I need to be some great artist recognized for his achievements. I stopped trying to use "positive thinking" to give me all the material things I want in life.

I now have asked God to just know me better than I know myself and give me the opportunity to be happy. I am asking that which created me and knows whats best for me to take control.

Alcohol Anonymous has a term for this. It is called Letting go and Letting God. They have a ton of these little sayings has helped keep vendors of t-shirts and bumper stickers in business for decades.

I do not know if having all the money in the world will make me happy. I don't know if being famous will make me happy. Really all I know is I have been killing myself trying to be happy and I am not truly happy.

So today I ask God the universe and higher power, give me the the opportunity to be happy. More importantly may I recognize this opportunity and use it to be happy.