Idle Hands

I posted recently about opportunities. I still very much believe in them but after about a week of "Letting go and Letting God" I want to take control back. I am really paralyzed right now. I am not sure what I am supposed to be doing. I really just want to crawl in bed and disappear. This makes me wonder whether or not this is some form of depression that is coming on due to my being idle. Which of course makes me have to confront the idea that maybe all this work I have been doing is trying to cover something else up.

Then at some point I just feel like maybe I am just thinking too damn much.

There still needs to be some form of action. You still need to make the journey. I guess I am staring at many different paths wondering which way to walk.

Today I thought that maybe I just need to walk away from the stresses of my art and of my creative self and focus on my health. Maybe thats the opportunity God wants me to pursue. I have ballooned to my heaviest weight ever and over all I just don't feel "well"

I could go on and on about my battle with my weight. I am not sure what is is about me that makes being not fat such an ordeal. I know I just need to work it into my life.

Accept that it is the one thing in life that has no exceptions.

Today I ask for the opportunity to make my body healthy. The gym and I have an appointment at 3.